


What Did You Do, Bucky?!

by Bk_Betty



Series: Tumblr Ficlet Challenge [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bucky Causing Chaos, Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, I have no idea what I just wrote, M/M, Married Couple, crack and humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bk_Betty/pseuds/Bk_Betty
Summary: When Jarvis nervously alerts him to a situation in the firing range, Steve immediately knows Bucky has done something stupid. However, nothing can prepare Steve for what he finds when he goes to investigate. This is pure, silly crack.





	What Did You Do, Bucky?!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fourth ficlet for the Tumblr Ficlet challenge started by [Bear_shark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bear_shark/pseuds/Bear_shark) and [Parrannnah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrannnah/pseuds/Parrannnah)! 
> 
> Please don’t ask where this story came from because I have no idea. Also, I wrote this on my phone in less than 20 minutes. So if you see any typos or mistakes, please let me know!  
> 
> 
> **Prompt** : _“On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-“_ _“At least a twenty.”_

Steve is making a fresh pot of coffee when Jarvis pipes up, sounding surprisingly panicked for an artificial intelligence looming in their ceiling. 

“Captain Rogers, I’m afraid there has been an… incident in the firing range.”

Steve knows right away Bucky is somehow involved. He also knows Jarvis and Bucky are unusually chummy and the AI often covers for him. Steve can already feel a headache coming on. 

“Can you be more specific, Jarvis?” he asks, turning off the coffee and walking towards their front door. 

There’s a longer-than-normal pause before Jarvis responds with, “I would prefer to refrain from providing any other details at this time, Captain.”

“What the fuck did you do now, Jerk?” Steve fumes, careful to lower his voice because Jarvis is a fucking snitch when it comes to Bucky. 

Steve goes through several scenarios in his head as he rides down to the firing range. It takes up the 22nd floor and Bucky has spent entire days running through intricate courses created by his disembodied best buddy. Not that Steve is bitter or anything. Who in their right mind would be jealous of an artificial construct? Most certainly not a decorated war hero, for fuck’s sake. 

Bracing himself for whatever destruction Bucky has caused, Steve steps out of the elevator and stops dead in his tracks. There is no way the information his eyes are sending to his brain is correct. 

Clint is racing around the high tables and stools located along the far right wall, an angry cat latched to his back. Clint is screaming, “Get this damn thing off me” while the tabby is howling and digging in deeper. 

Thor is trying to wrestle what appears to be a four-headed Rottweiler into a large, metal dog crate. The hell beast is singing “My Shot” from The Hamilton soundtrack in an exact imitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. _Please don’t let that be Lin-Manuel Miranda_ , Steve thinks to himself. 

He casts his eyes over to the center of the room where Peter Parker is fighting a massive sandwich. Steve is pretty sure his brain is fucking with him at this point because there is no way that’s happening. He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and counting to ten. He glances back up and yup, Peter is absolutely fighting a sandwich. A BLT from the looks of it. 

As if all of that isn’t enough to fuel Steve’s nightmares for days, a squealing sound from above grabs his attention. He looks up to the ceiling and immediately regrets that decision. Because Natasha is dressed in a Panda onesie, chasing a creature with the body of a pig and the face of a raccoon. Natasha is running. On the ceiling. Chasing a pigoon. Steve takes a brief moment to congratulate himself for coming up with pigoon on the fly.

But Steve doesn’t see Bucky in this unholy den of chaos. Considering all of this is more than likely Bucky’s fault, Steve starts searching for his husband.

“Bucky?!” he shouts, the other people in the room too preoccupied to pay him any mind.

He strides past Peter (who is trying to get out of a BLT headlock), eyes frantically casing the room. He checks every lane and the weapons area but there is no sign of Bucky. He makes his way to the locker room and trips over a baby dragon. Steve braces himself against the wall, managing to avoid crushing the little thing. Upon closer inspection, Steve notices the dragon has the same shade of Icelandic blue eyes as his wayward husband.

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if…” Bucky’s voice comes out of the baby dragon.

Steve takes in all the fucking lunacy going on around them, reminds himself that he loves this idiotic asshole and says, “At least a twenty.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to hit me up on [Tumblr](https://brooklynbetty.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
